Torah/תורה: July 2004 Archives

bs"d As this new week begins, I'm reflecting on the density of last week:

• Shabbat Seudah Shlishit, my roommate and I hosted 30+ people for the Third Meal/Havdallah. JS and I then went to an engagement party in the neighborhood.
• I woke up pre-dawn and prayed as close to the Holy of Holies for hours. We then drove to the Dead Sea in the afternoon, and prayed as close to the core of the earth as possible.
• We returned to Jerusalem during 17 Tammuz, a fast day commemorating, amongst other things, the shattering of the tablets and the breaching of the walls of Yerushalayim. I returned to the Old City with my roommate for mincha/ma'ariv, and broke fast with a divine nectarine.
• I went to my first bris in Israel and the first one I'd been to in over 10 years. Right before the ceremony began, I was handed a video camera, which gave me license to get right in the action. I loved the mohel, who I think was a Breslover hassid. An American kiddush.
• Friday, I went to the shvitz/mikveh with ML for the last time (he returns to the States Tuesday), and started feeling ill. I slept all of Friday afternoon, and most of Shabbos night, my body feeling like it was crammed in a vice.
• Another lovely shabbos meal, this time in my apartment — JS took care of everything as I was still out-of-commission, though feeling better.
• Sheudah Shlishit in Baca was a Renewal-fest: Ruth Kagan, Tirtzah Fierstone, Elliot Ginsberg, Phyllis Berman, Arthur Wascow, Melila Eshed-Helner, et al., all celebrating and reclaiming the yarzeit of Chana Rachel, a tzadeket and teacher who lived 100 years ago.
• Then, although it's asur (we didn't think about it until we were inside the concert), we went to hear Shotei HaNevuah — a great, popular Israeli band

The Three Weeks are heartbreaking, or I'm heartbroken and open to the death of summer. I'm sad to be leaving Jerusalem, frightened to return to NYC. Though I'm looking forward to seeing Friends and Family. The Bnai Yisaschar asks, How can we make it though this incredibly difficult time (the Three Weeks)? He answers from Scripture: Hinei Mah Tov U'ma Nayim Shevet Achim Gam Yachad — "Behold the good and the pleasantness of siblings dwelling in unity." Yachad, unity, oneness is his answer; we come together and support each other in our brokenness. How do we understand this from the word "yachad"? It's gematria (numerical equivalent) is yud-chet, or reversed, chet-yud, chai=life=18. We live eighteen of these difficult days for four of them (dalet), namely the three intermediate shabbatot and rosh chodesh, ie, the joy from these four days of communal harmony can help us live out and live through the other 18 difficult days. For me, the Three Weeks are a countdown to my departure from Eretz Yisrael, amplifying the energy to an excruciating extent. I'm having trouble concentrating on much of anything else. Rabbi Jill Hammer applies this to 17 Tammuz specifically, but I think all of the Three Weeks is "a time of reflection on our worst instincts." May we come from our individual brokenness to piece together a home of holiness.